Here's the Scoop: September 19, 2012

Flat is not my style
Flat brimmed baseball hats. I hate them.
There, I wrote it and I’m not taking it back. How in the world did this get to be a popular style?
Some folks may think that I’m making too much of this issue, but I think it’s an important one. Mind you, I don’t claim to be on the cutting edge of many fashion trends. Quite the opposite.

When I read an article about new fashions, I generally shake my head and ask: “Why would someone where that?” Usually, I dismiss most new fashions as a waste of money. Probably, I just don’t get it. That’s OK with me.

In the case of flat brimmed baseball caps, we’re talking about something else altogether. Some things are sacred — baseball caps are high up on the list.

In the past, my biggest problem with baseball caps was when they were worn backwards. That, too, is a very bad idea.

Bad hatter
Keeping the brim flat on a baseball hat is plain wrong. I don’t know if any studies have been done in the area, but I think that science would ultimately prove wearing one’s baseball cap backwards somehow causes a drop in brain cells. This trend is likely accelerated in the case when flat brimmed caps are turned around. Not good.

I know these are just people making fashion statements, trying to do their own thing. That’s fine. And, I was just joking about the brain cell thing.

Still, I can’t get past these “styles.” To me, it’s like someone painting a mustache and bushy eyebrows on the Mona Lisa. If Kate Middletown had been wearing nothing but a flat brimmed baseball cap in those recent sunbathing photos, nobody would have wanted to publish those pictures.

Rounding into form
Baseball caps are meant to have nicely bent brims. Period. After many years of hard use, my Baltimore Orioles hat (proud to say that I’m not new to the O’s bandwagon) had pretty much disintegrated. Sure, I still wear it, but I also received a new one for Christmas. Since that time, I have spent many hours carefully bending the brim to get it “just right.” It’s not quite there yet, however, the curve of the bill is rounding slowly into shape.

These days, I often nervously work the brim of the cap as I tune in for the latest results as the Orioles try to pull off a miracle and overtake the Yankees for the division crown. This would be an achievement that even the most loyal Orioles fan could not have predicted this season.

It’s too early to get excited. Still, if the Orioles can overtake the Bombers and win the division title, I won’t even know how to react. Maybe I’ll get another new Birds hat — keep the brim flat and wear it backwards. Now that’s the sign of a crazy fan.
— Brian Sweeney