here's the Scoop: May 30, 2012

What’s for dinner?
Cannibals. Love ’em or hate ’em.
I’m in the first category on this one. I think cannibals may just have the right idea. I know vegetables are good for one’s diet, but meat packs more of a culinary punch.

I know that being fond of a quarter-pound burger or a juicy pork chop isn’t exactly the same as visiting your neighbor for a midnight snack (literally), but it’s not a big stretch to see how this could evolve into developing a taste for human flesh.

OK, so maybe it’s not that simple. Still, it’s been documented in various books and movies that stranded mountain climbers and plane wreck victims in remote areas don’t take too long to begin chomping down on their departed comrades.

I guess it doesn’t really matter if the thought of cannibalism turns your stomach or not. The point is, work is underway locally to film a remake of a little known movie “We Are What We Are,” in which the central characters are cannibals. This is really cool, in my opinion.
The company that’s making the movie has used the local region as the backdrop for several other films, including the well-reviewed “Stake Land,” a movie where vampires are central to the plot.

The right stuff
Some folks may be wondering why the Catskills aren’t being utilized as the setting for, say, a remake of the “Lassie” series. That would be fine, but I think we’re well-suited for more off-kilter fare. After all, the region’s fame in the realm of horror really dates back to The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. A Headless Horseman — creepy indeed.

I enjoy the watching the creative process of the movie industry. Truth be told, I am angling to get a part in the new movie. Unfortunately, some of the film folks read my recent column in which I detailed the trials and tribulations of a visit to the oral surgeon.

“Are you sure your teeth are up to the task?” I was asked during the movie interview process.
I was flattered that they had read my column, but troubled that my writing career was now posing a threat to my fledgling acting career. I assured the movie staff that my teeth were fine and that I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. After all, I wasn’t seeking a starring role.

“I just want a bite part — I mean bit part,” I stammered.
“We’ll keep your name on the list,” I was told.

Making progress
In an effort to learn as much as possible about the movie process, I’ve been hanging out with the filmmakers whenever I can. I figure this will only help my chances of landing a role. Or, in this case, a roll, since I prefer some bread with my meat.

During my time with the crew, I finally got around to asking the staff why they prefer to make their movies in the Catskills?

One fellow responded with an evil grin, “Well, for one, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.”
I think this was said tongue in cheek. Or, would that be with teeth in leg?
— Brian Sweeney