Here's the Scoop: January 29, 2014

If the slipper fits
One of the reasons that I prefer to buy things online is because I don’t really like hanging out with big groups of people in places such as shopping malls. It’s kind of weird, then, that I often rely on others to help me shop — based on their reviews.
In recent years, I find that I’m letting the shopping experience of the general population guide my spending habits. I recently accumulated enough credit card bonus points to put me within purchase range of a decent pair of slippers. That’s good. And bad.
Let me first say that I’m not a slipper kind of guy. My wife, however, has seen/heard me stub my toe one too many times. She has also impressed upon me the fact that proper foot care helps improve one’s overall health. I was a bit confused by this whole concept.
“You mean my feet are the windows to my soles?” I asked.
She corrected me, noting that it’s still the “eyes” that are the windows. And it would be “soul” in any case.

Putting her foot down
Nevertheless, she convinced me to at least consider buying some slippers. Did I mention that I’m not a slipper kind of guy? But, between the suggestions that I pick up a pair of slippers and the endless days of really cold temperatures, I used some idle time to research these products. Frankly, I wasn’t liking what I was seeing.
Some typical responses to her suggestions: “No way.” “Hate those.” “I couldn’t sleep knowing those hideous things were under the bed.” This wasn’t going well.
“You think I’m dragging my feet, don’t you?” I asked.
It soon became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to tiptoe around this issue. I came up with Plan B.
“Well, I’m reading reviews about the least ugly pairs,” I finally responded.
It was true. Every reputable slipper retailer had lots of online reviews about the products being offered. I was actually surprised that anyone would take the time to write a review about a pair of slippers. Still, I guess slippers are kind of personal items and, apparently, many people have strong feelings about such things.

Good reading material
I’ll admit, after awhile, I no longer cared much about the slippers — I was using the reviews as a source of entertainment. For instance, one enthusiast said he was thrilled with his slipper purchase, even though they arrived late after being backordered. “It was worth the weight,” he wrote. Must be a lead foot.
Here’s another review that caught my attention: “I also love how they maintain the temperature of my feet — they almost magically keep them warm when they are cold and cool when they are warm.” More impressive than a thermos, I’d say.
And then there’s the customer who wrote: “One of the top five purchases of my life.” That’s quite a statement — but I’m not sure what it says about the writer.
Anyhow, after reading a ton of glowing reviews about one particular slipper style that I “disliked less than the others,” I was almost set to make a purchase.
“I’m close to putting an end to all those stubbed toes,” I told my wife. “If I can just find a pair that comes with two left feet.”
— Brian Sweeney