Here's the Scoop: February 22, 2012

Where are the photos?
There’s no way that I was the only person disappointed by this news — or lack of news. For three straight days, I opened my computer’s Home Page and there were no — zero — stories on Celebrity Baby Bumps.

Talk about disappointing. Are you trying to tell me that every celebrity has finished with the baby-making process? Do the masked folks who run the Internet expect me to believe that there are no celebrities waiting to give birth?

We all know this isn’t true. Plus, if we saw a celebrity’s baby bump last week at, say, seven months along, it’s very likely this celebrity didn’t simply speed up the birth process. I know that the rich and famous are able to do things that most of us can’t, but I think this is one of those areas where they are still pretty similar to us commoners.

So, maybe all the celebs who are expecting are merely too tired from the pregnancy process to be out and about, having the paparazzi photographing their bumps.
Whatever the reason, I can’t help but feel a bit of disappointment when my Home Page doesn’t feed me a steady diet of photos of pregnant celebrities. For me, there’s nothing quite like waking up, beginning the day’s caffeine intake and seeing how pregnant stars look in their bulged out designer outfits.

I don’t care all that much
OK, so maybe this isn’t exactly how it works for me. I must confess that I don’t really follow celebrities too much. And, good for them, if these famous folks want to have babies. But, really, I don’t care what their baby bumps look like. At all. Plus, I think the term “baby bump” is, well, stupid. There, I said it and I feel better.

It’s doubtful that I’m the only person who has this viewpoint about Celeb Baby Bumps. Still, a quick Google search of this phenomenon returns 466,000 references to the term. Somebody must care. It’s just not me. Did I mention that?

To me, Internet items like Celeb Baby Bumps are like a chicken and egg thing, so to speak. Did these things start popping up because noncelebrities truly care how the rich and famous look when they’re expecting? Or, are we fed a steady diet of those photos because the press wants to make us give a darn? I vote for choice number two.

I’m rebelling
As a way of fighting back against this trend, I make it a strict policy to never click on a photo of a celeb baby bump. It really doesn’t take much willpower, either.

Of course, we all know that these things don’t end with the disappearance of the baby bump. In fact, it appears that the whole baby bump photo thing is merely a lead-in to the next phase of Internet stories: Incredibly Quirky Name for Stars’ New Addition. I referred to Stars as being plural because it’s pretty much illegal for famous folks to breed with the nonfamous.

Next up, we can look forward to photos captioned: “New mother (fill in the famous name) gets Pre-Baby Body back in 1 hour and 48 minutes.”
Can’t wait.
— Brian Sweeney