Here's the Scoop: Dec. 24, 2008

The scent of success
I always enjoy the frantic pace of last-minute Christmas shopping. Watching this event, not participating in it, of course.
At some point, I decided that I wasn’t going to let the commercialism of this event turn me into a nerve-wracked shopping freak. Not that I’m cynical.
Sometimes, though, just when you think you’ve got things all figured out, something truly out of the ordinary occurs. Such an event took place for me on December 22 — just days before Present Time.
I got my first whiff of this startling news on the Internet and then again that evening in a newspaper story (then I knew it had to be true). In case you missed it, Burger King has introduced: Flame – “a new men’s body spray: the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”
Why didn’t I think of that?
Well, there’s the fact that Flame sounds gross. Of course, this information really wouldn’t stop me from proposing a money-making idea. Or would it?
The news stories regarding this product reveal that “Unbelievably, some who have sniffed this concoction find it appealing.”

Red meat
I don’t know, there’s something about imitating flame-broiled meat that isn’t terribly thrilling to me. I certainly hate it when dogs chase me on my bicycle. I can only imagine the ugly scenes if I started wearing Flame while I was strolling down the street, with no getaway vehicle. I’d feel like Sam the Butcher of Brady Bunch fame — having all the neighborhood canines hot on my trail. And Alice, too.
This is merely a guess, but I’m thinking that dogs weren’t the intended subject matter for Flame. I believe that ketchup bottles are the true targets.
Just kidding, because everyone knows that it’s real women who crave a fellow wreaking of fast-food. Or maybe not.
There’s also a pretty darn good chance that Flame was not really designed to compete with fragrances by Calvin Klein and others. After all, this could be just a publicity stunt and maybe Burger King isn’t really interested in high fashion. Perhaps the company just wants a little free publicity. Well, I’m doing my part!
I’ve actually already seen an on-line quiz asking readers if they’d buy this stuff because they like the smell or if they think it would be fun to give to someone as a gift. Choice B was a runaway. This should make a lot of people nervous.
I’ll be among those who will open packages with a sense of well-deserved jitters. After all, my love of fast-food burgers is legendary among family and friends. Might one of more of these folks think it would be fitting for my Christmas to be lit up with Flame?