Here's the Scoop: Aug. 18, 2010

Say it ain’t so
I’m certain that I wasn’t alone when I clicked on my Home Page recently and was more than a little surprised to learn that Snooki had been arrested for harassment. Shocked does not come close to describing my reaction.

The odd thing is, it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I was even made aware of Snooki’s existence. I still don’t know much about the girl, but I’m thinking that not knowing anything about her would have been A-OK with me.

For those of you who may be shaking your heads and muttering, “Hey, I don’t know who/what a Snooki is?” I am here to help (a little). Apparently Snooki is one of the “stars” of the reality TV show “Jersey Shore.” She plays herself — which is apparently quite a challenge.
Never having seen “Jersey Shore,” I have to trust the information fed to me by loyal viewers. And, now, the police.

As far as I can tell – and I may be oversimplifying this (but probably not by much), the cast of “Jersey Shore” spends most of its time “tanning and shopping.” Sounds like a pretty good life, if you can get it. Plus, they apparently get paid for these activities.

I’m not really sure why anyone cares.
My opinion was reportedly backed up by none other than Snooki’s father in a recent interview. “Papa Snooks,” as he was referred to in a New York Times interview, said he had no idea why anyone would be interested in his daughter.

Of course, the fact that the Times was interviewing Papa Snooks speaks volumes.

When I was first shown a photo of the “Jersey Shore” cast, I thought that the appeal of the show would become clear. It didn’t. The picture looked the group was the result of some weird experiment involving lifting too many weights, surgically-enhanced body parts and a generous dose of tanning goop to unify the oddly-shaped cast.

The photo would not be easily mistaken for a Mensa meeting.But, hey, if these folks achieve fame and fortune for their efforts, so be it.

Misleading cast
The truly odd part about this hit show is the setting. My crack research team tells me that, ironically, the “Jersey Shore” cast isn’t actually from New Jersey. That has to come as a bit of relief to real NJ folks.

I personally was relieved to learn this news. After all, I spent probably the first 15 years of my life celebrating birthdays at the Jersey shore (the real one). I know that suntan lotion was part of the equation, but I honestly don’t recall coming across any characters such as Snooki and crew. Maybe they were there and my parents successfully shielded me from these types.

Going way back in my memory bank, I seem to recall that all the adolescent boys involved in these vacations were more interested in the Canadian girls who were always plentiful on the beach. Must have been the appeal of those French accents. Or the non-New Jersey accents — just kidding, of course.

I guess it’s not really my place to make fun of TV shows that are popular. But, I have a column, so I can. Still, I grew up watching “Who’s The Boss?” and “Green Acres.” Considering that these shows were once hits, it’s no surprise that “Jersey Shore” has an ocean of fans. And Snooki has a way nicer tan than Eva Gabor. — Brian Sweeney