Here's the Scoop by Brian Sweeney

Say it ain’t so
I’m certain that I wasn’t alone when I clicked on my Home Page recently and was more than a little surprised to learn that Snooki had been arrested for harassment. Shocked does not come close to describing my reaction.

Neck high in popularity
Why are vampires so popular? I don’t know.
I’m not really up-to-date with the “Twilight” books and movies that have been such big hits. But I guess when you take a decent story, mix in a bunch of good-looking actors and tons of marketing dollars, success is not a surprise.

Smoothie move
Each summer, I like to designate an item as the “in” food for that season. I know that hip folks in magazines are spending the warm months downing endless amounts of mango-covered scorpions encrusted in pecans and other exotic dishes.

My tastes are not as extreme. This year, my favorite is pretty cool though, since it’s a Smoothie.

Swapping for dollars
When my wife returned from the farmers’ market on Saturday, she told me that one of the vendors from whom she normally buys meat was not present. “He’s busy with interviews. He’s appearing on ‘Wife Swap’ this week,” she explained.
That happens, I guess.

What a great person!
When Yankees owner George Steinbrenner passed away recently, the story dominated the news. I’m sure he had many good points — as a number of writers went out of their way to point out.

The dangers of relaxation
Each season of the year comes with a certain amount of danger.
Winter, naturally, brings the fear of car crashes and injuries from falling. Among spring’s biggest drawbacks are black flies and spring fever — the latter which occurs when it’s still 42 degrees in late May.

Open door policy
Summer vacation is nearly over. That was fast.
This isn’t a weather forecast on my part. No, the “vacation’s over” theme is related to having houseguests. Just like deer are guaranteed to chomp down on the garden, guests are coming. And they seemingly can’t be stopped.

Another bright idea
I’m declaring 2010 The Year of the Firefly.
This is being done because I’ve noticed that over the past decade or so, it seems that each summer a different type of animal or insect steps (or runs, flies or crawls) into prominence. Squirrels, ladybugs, frogs, tent caterpillars — they’ve all dominated recent summers. My early money this year is on fireflies.

I hear you, fans
While I certainly admire the remarkable skills of professional soccer players, I am not what you’d call a soccer fan. It probably has something to do with me having “two left feet” — with neither of them particularly skilled at making a round ball go in an intended direction.
I suppose that if were to sit down and watch an entire game of the current World Cup that I might gain some enthusiasm for the “world’s most watched event.” But I won’t be joining in the with the soccer couch potato crowd.

Time for Lawn-spansion
When is a lawn not a lawn? If this sounds like the type of mind-twisting puzzle uttered by Batman’s foe, The Riddler, well, it’s not. It’s a real question for homeowners. Because The Riddler is not around to provide a solution, let me help: When it’s supposed to be a forest.